I had to write an essay for school and I need some help.....?

Question by Shelby: I had to write an essay for school and I need some help.....?
My essay had to be on my 'comfort zone' so I wrote about myy house. I have to make a 5 out of 6 to get a B+ and Im only getting a 4 out of 5 so that is a C+, mom wont accept tht and neither will i. So could u tell me what I could add to make my essay better! ALSO what are some Synonyms for comfortable?? Thanks Please helpp me. I WILL HAVE A BEST ANSWER TOM.!!!

Essay:

There are a million places in the world, some enjoyable and some not so enjoyable. If you ask me what my favorite place is it wouldn't be to hard to think of my favorite, and when thinking of all the comfortable places in the world one comes to mind, my house. In my house I feel extremely comfortable. It is the one place in the world where I feel like I could spend my whole life.

My house is a five-room cabin. My house has a wooden exterior and interior. It has a green roof and a large back yard. My house is the one place where I can find all the things that make me happy. My home is my sanctuary. When I'm at my house I'm in the best of moods. If I just had the worse day nothing makes me happier than coming home.

In my tiny home there is one room that is my favorite, my room. My room is decorated with all my favorite things: video games, baseball, and wrestling. It has posters of my brother and mine's favorite things. My room is a wood interior room. It is a very bright and colorful room. In my room my brother and I watch movies and play video games together. I'm forced to share a room with my little brother. Even though he can make my room unpleasant at some times I still love him and my room.

My second favorite room in my house would have to be the kitchen. My kitchen is decorated with roosters and country living thing. It is a beige room with yellow sponging. The kitchen is my second favorite, because I love food. I love food and every aspect of it. You will either find me in my room or in the kitchen. The kitchen makes me feel comfortable, because I'm also comfortable cooking. If you ask me to cook I will, because I'm very confident while cooking.

The rest of my house makes me comfortable. In the living room is where my family watches movies together. It is a large room decorated in red, white, and blue. It has two sofas in it and one television. In the bathroom I like to take long soothing baths. My bathroom is decorated with green and maroon wallpaper. In my mom's room is where we usually have our "family meetings", so sometimes I don't feel so comfortable in there. Although we have family meeting in there her room is decorated beautifully. She has a lot of pictures hanging up and it is also a country themed room. Although those rooms are not my favorite I still love them all.

My home is my favorite place in the whole world. I could spend all the time in the world there. All my favorite things are at my home. All of my favorite people are there. The most comforting thing about my home is my family. They are the people who love me for me. My home is the one place where I can act like myself and not be judged. I love my home. My five-roomed house makes me happy and it is my comfort zone.


Best answer:

Answer by collingbournekingston
This is good so far but you are thinking of a physical comfort zone rather than an emotional one. What things are comfortable for you to discuss and what are uncomfortable? What makes things comfortable and others not? It may be that there are subjects about which you are knowledgeable and you feel comfortable talking about them. What about subjects that you know less about? Does exposing your lack of knowledge make you uncomfortable? Is talking about politics, religion or family comfortable for you or not? Are you comfortable in places you know like your home, but if you go to somewhere new, does that make you uncomfortable?

I think you need to draw out your feelings and emotions in order to get the higher grade.

Synonyms for comfortable: cozy, cushy, easy, snug, soft Related Words: relaxing, reposeful, restful; genial, hospitable, inviting, pleasant; commodious, roomy, spacious; homelike, homely, homey

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